Stories of Breast Cancer Survival

Click on the names below to read the stories of each of these remarkable women.

Kathy

Deann

Debbie

Ethel

Frances

Kaycee

Lisa

Kathy

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer (invasive carcinoma) in August 2002, one month after the death of my father. I had surgery on September 3, 2002.

I am an assistant volleyball and head softball coach at Rowland Hall St. Marks in Salt Lake City, Utah. When my students heard the news about my diagnosis, they came to practice wearing pink ribbons with my name on them. They vowed to wear them until I was better.

With the help of my partner, family and students, I missed only 13 days of school throughout chemotherapy and radiation. I had a lumpectomy and 18 months of therapy. I think the worst day, after I got the good news as I call it, was when I lost my hair. I say that because it would have been bad news had they not discovered my tumor.

When softball season came along, my partner, players, and I decided to do something to raise money for breast cancer research. Although I was only a few days into my radiation, we went to bat against breast cancer.
In Utah we held a hit-a-thon where the girls went out and got pledges in my name to hit 100 pitches off the pitching machine. They hit and went back to collect the money. We were over-joyed when two other school teams joined us to raise $12,000 in our endeavour.

I am four and a half years out from cancer and we have continued this event every year bringing up the total of teams to 26. Since then our Swing for Life hit-a-thon has been registered by the state of Utah as a non-profit corporation. We are now state-wide and include the high school, middle school, and elementary school softball teams. In 2006 we raised $52,000 in the Swing for Life hit-a-thon, bringing the grand total to $110,100 in the four years.

I was contacted by Curt Shilling's charity of the Boston Red Socks because he read about it on-line by the Desert News in Salt Lake City Utah. They want to start one in Boston.
My goal is to get this to go nationwide to raise money for breast cancer research! I truly believe that we will find a cure so no one has to go through this terrible disease. As long as I can, I will teach my kids awareness and keep this dream alive to raise money for research.
I was at the Melissa Etheridge concert at Deer Valley, Utah on the day of my diagnosis in August of 2002 and my dream would be to meet her and have her come to one of our Swing for Life hit-a-thons!

To find out more about the Swing for Life hit-a-thon's go to http://www.highschoolsportszone.com or email Kathy at kathyhowa@rhsm.org

Posted: January 2007

Deann

Mother of 3 teenage boys diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998.

I am currently five years out from my breast cancer treatment. I was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer in December 1998. January of 1999 I began my treatment, which included mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. September of 1999 was a wonderful time when I started taking tamoxifen and "went on with my life" after treatment.

My husband was a great source of strength to me during my ordeal. I think we didn't know how strong we both could be until we were tested. When I was weak, he was strong and vice versa. I don't recall a time when we were both falling apart at the same time - thankfully! Today, now that life has returned to normal, there is an underlying quiet gratitude between us for the fact that I am healthy and happy and that the quality of our life is once again so good. We have much to be grateful for.

My children (3 boys) were 17, 15 and 11 years old when I was diagnosed. To say the least they were scared to death. They were very quiet and internalized their worry that their mother was going to die. I remember sitting on the bed with my family one night telling them that I was not going anywhere! As they watched me go through the treatment the fear eased up and they realized that this cancer was something we were all going to have to live with. Interestingly, we don't talk much about it any more. For them the ordeal is over and I don't think they worry much.

I have been a stay-at-home mom since having children. Once diagnosed with breast cancer, I was even more grateful for the time that I had spent with my family. I was always involved in their school activities, volunteered for all kinds of jobs that moms do that you could not pay me to do otherwise! I remember thinking how grateful that I had these experiences just in case I didn't have many opportunities with them in the future.

My friends and family rallied around me and offered their support. My family was in this for the long haul. I received cards and flowers from people I had no idea cared so much. My old dear friends became even dearer to me. I have made many new friends with women who are also breast cancer survivors and we share a greater appreciation for life. Having been through breast cancer brings blessings in addition to the trials. One blessing is a greater appreciation for the simplest things in life, such as a walk at the beach or walking through snow with the sun on my back. It doesn't take much these days for me to be happy and content. I'm grateful to be at a place in my life where I truly know what is important and worthwhile to me and the peace that this brings me.

I am grateful also for Dr Link and his expertise. I came to Dr Link for a second opinion on which chemotherapy protocol would be best for me. I previously had the mastectomy and had been through a barrage of doctor appointments and second opinions. I was emotionally drained! Dr Link put everything into perspective for me and I knew he would offer me the best care. From that time forward I began to feel more at ease and the fear began to subside somewhat. I would not change anything about my treatment at all. I think the process of going through the different doctor's opinions helped me to make a sound decision and recognize where I would receive the best care. I remember being at peace with my decision.

I have always been a religious person, but with the diagnosis of breast cancer this became critical in my ability to handle this challenge. I do not know how people get through tough times without having faith in God. I did my part to ensure that I had the best medical treatment and that I followed doctor's orders, but from there I had the faith that if I was supposed to get through this and remain healthy, I would. Each day I thank God for my health and the blessings that I receive and take it one day at a time.

Now when I think back during my early diagnosis and treatment when it was so hard the emotions come back to me, but I realized we are all going to have bumps down the road of life and that this was just one of mine. This experience has made me a stronger, better woman. I probably have more compassion and empathy for people going through tough times, but at the same time I have less tolerance for people who are negative and complain about insignificant things. Life is too precious to waste our time and energy on things that don't really matter.

The worst part of the entire breast cancer ordeal for me was the fear of the unknown. I relate being diagnosed with breast cancer to being thrown into a dark, deep hole and you have to find your way out. You dig and dig and little by little you begin to see the light, but it takes a long time. So my advice to anyone having to face this disease is to put your combat boots on and trudge through it all, because you can do it!

Life can be good again and this breast cancer experience will be behind you someday, and you never know, your life could be enriched because of this experience.

Posted: June 2004

Update - July 2005

I am writing this update in July 2005, six years out from my breast cancer treatment. I have had time to reflect over the past few years and have come to some conclusions regarding my breast cancer journey.

I remember thinking through treatment that I was strong and had family and friends who were a tremendous support to me for which I am very grateful. I didn't want or need to be part of a support group and attend meetings. However, I wish I had taken advantage of other women who had gone through breast cancer treatment. Only a woman who has traveled down this road first hand can relate and understand the fears and apprehension that you go through. I am a mentor through the Breast Friends program and am referred to newly diagnosed women to help talk her through her journey. Sometimes it's one phone call and other times it's a long term relationship. I can hear a little relief in a woman's voice when she learns I am five or six years out of treatment and doing well.

My breast cancer diagnosis was lobular breast carcinoma, estrogen receptor positive, with five positive lymph nodes. As far as a breast cancer diagnosis goes, this was not the best one to receive, but it certainly could have been worse. I remember hoping before I got the pathology report back that I would not have any lymph node involvement. So this became my worst fear that the breast cancer had spread to other parts of my body, however, to date this has not been the case. The mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and hormonal therapy has all worked so far, and I fully intend to remain healthy. I took tamoxifen for five years and have been on Femara for almost one year. I also believe if God wants me to be here I will be. I believe that we all have a purpose in life and I know what mine is. Not many people look forward to getting older. Two years ago I turned 50 and I was actually looking forward to it. I am grateful for each year that I have and look forward to each coming year. If I exercise, try to eat right and maintain my weight in the normal range, I find I don't mind the growing older part of life now so much.

I remember being very fatigued after treatment, having some pretty intense hot flashes and my legs ached a lot of the time. Exercise helps the fatigue, but it takes a while. You become physically tired from the exercise, but not the constant fatigue you have been carrying around. The hot flashes slowly diminished and I let my body adjust naturally to the changes it was going through. I think the leg aches were due to the tamoxifen because after about two years I didn't notice it any more. I walk outdoors a lot and do some weight work at the gym, and I probably am stronger and my endurance is better now than it has been since treatment.

There have been several times when I would get a pain or ache and worry that my breast cancer had returned. But, I would always remember what I was told, that if the pain continued day and night and didn't go away then it was something to be concerned about. Each time I would start keeping track and then one day I just forgot about it and it wasn't an issue any more. This is a difficult thing to become comfortable with and I am always on guard, but it has become less of an issue through the years.

I have check ups at Breastlink every six months. This is quite a change from when I went through treatment. I was very dependent on Dr. Link and my oncology nurses, Susan and Marilynn. I had confidence in them that they would get me through the treatments and I looked forward to seeing Lisa and Kami's smiling faces when I came into the office. I had treatments every two weeks, with hydration and bloodwork in between . I spent a lot of time in that office and then one day my oncology nurse said that's it, you have just finished your last treatment and sent me off. I was happy and at the same time lost without them for a while. I slowly gained confidence that my life would return to somewhat normal after the ordeal.

Now when I return for checkups, the office staff changes from time to time, I still look for Lisa and Kami's smiling faces, see Dr. Waisman for my surveillance checkups, but now I recognize and empathize with the women I see actively going through treatment. I encourage them that one day they too will be five or six years out of treatment.

Debbie

Debbie Wilson was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 at 49 years of age. Debbie has a husband, two adult daughters, and owns and operates a deli & catering business. Debbie was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1996.

An American who has lived in New Zealand for the last 32 years Deb was keen to ensure that she received the best possible treatment no matter where her geographic location. "Following an ultrasound and mammogram I was diagnosed with breast cancer." The treatment recommended to me by my local doctor was a radical mastectomy. Because my brother is a breast cancer oncologist in Los Angeles I got a second opinion from him.

"If I hadn't of gotten that second opinion I would probably be dead. The second opinion said that the breast cancer I had was so invasive that it required radical doses of chemotherapy to shrink the tumor prior to surgery to remove it. The chemotherapy I had was so intensive that I am lucky that my liver and kidney survived." But it was what was required to kill the tumor because of its large size and aggressiveness pathologically. Having chemo prior to surgery was the treatment option that would provide the most information about whether or not chemotherapy was effective for her tumor and particular type of breast cancer. Additionally, because of Deb's specific presentation - extensive lymph node involvement at the time of diagnosis, the need for systemic treatment (chemo) was absolute, and even the delay of four to six weeks which a surgery would necessitate was, in her case, unacceptable in terms of the resultant systemic risk. At the time, this kind of chemo was not available in New Zealand. "I left my business my family and everything for seven months," she says of her breast cancer treatment time in California. Debbie had chemotherapy, followed by a double mastectomy and reconstruction. "The double mastectomy was my choice because I thought, what if I'm back in New Zealand and I have a recurrence?"

Her cancer required neo-adjuvant chemotherapy.

Debbie's family credit her ongoing presence in their lives to her ability to ask questions and be well informed. "The biggest message I can give to women is don't be complacent. I really irritate people because I ask so many questions. But we've got to be our own advocates. We've got to stand up and speak. You have to be your own kind of active practitioner.

I appreciate that because my brother is a breast cancer oncologist this made my ability to access foreign services easier, however, I encourage woman to actively find solutions where they are receiving the best treatment possible for their situation, and not necessarily the best treatment available in their area."

Living with breast cancer has been relatively easy compared to living with MS. Debbie was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1996. Thus far the MS has affected Debbie's ability to walk and she uses a cane and occasionally a wheelchair. "Learning to live with MS is much more of a challenge for me, than learning to live with breast cancer. Breast cancer is socially acceptable, MS isn't. MS doesn't have the glamour or media attention that breast cancer commands. With breast cancer you have high-society balls hosted by local celebrities. With MS there is very little research, no society events, and to date I'm yet to see a fashionably designed MS t-shirt. The MS slows me down, it doesn't allow me to reach the goals I want, and I find that incredibly infuriating".

Debbie was given a second "death sentence" in 1997. Once again a second opinion saved her situation. "Following an MRI scan I was diagnosed with cancer of the spine - my breast cancer had matastisised in the spine. Prognosis: imminent death. The second opinion I got said that the white spots on my spine visible in the MRI were not cancerous, but calcifications from the MS. In one day I went from preparing to die to being given another lease of life. I can't say enough how important a second opinion is, no matter how small the town you live in, how much you like your doctor. It's your health and you need the reassurance of a second opinion."

Debbie lives her life with high energy and passion. Her positivity and energy are one of the first things you notice about her. "Living with both Breast cancer and MS has meant that I have had to ask myself, 'Why not me?' It can't always be someone else. Maybe you are given these things to make you do something amazing with them. I'm not sure what the amazing thing is yet. I've always lived my life with a positive attitude and tried to have a generosity of spirit and awareness of others, and I've been diagnosed with two fairly serious illnesses. I'm not going to go round telling people to be positive, to improve their attitude and they'll get better. If it is going to get you it's going to get you, and that's not being negative, it's just life."

Posted: June 2004

Update - July 2005

It's July 2005 nearly five years after her cancer diagnosis and treatment, and when asking Debbie Wilson how she's doing, she responds "fantastic". Debbie continues, "For a while I was dormant. Wondering what was going to happen next. Should I take a gamble when it might only be for a week, a month, a year? Then I thought about it, and I realised that I was always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. So I thought "I better make some good stuff happen."

And there is no shortage of good stuff. For the last 10 years Debbie (a renowned cook, and food writer) has owned a café. Debbie and her daughter Hayley (who works alongside her) are now in the process of expanding their business. As well as the original café they will be opening in the coming weeks: a new delicatessen, a wine bar and Culinario - a cooking school

Added to the business expansion, Debbie is having her home kitchen modernised and renovated. "I'm taking the plunge and making it suitable for a disabled person", Debbie reveals with a frank candour. This is a significant issue for Debs who has always been the first to admit that she gets incredibly frustrated by her MS and how it slows her down. Her 'management style' has been to ignore it as much as possible. "I've finally accepted what I have. My energy levels are good because I'm going forward. Before I was afraid that I was going backwards. So essentially I was treading water, waiting, going nowhere. Now I'm not afraid. And stopping being afraid has allowed my energy to return and for me to move on."

"So I'm taking a gamble. I don't know how long I'll be here for. But while I'm around I've got a few things to do. My greatest fear is that I'll die before I've written my play. Its working title is "The Chemo Café" and it's about Debbie's experience in the chemo room at Breastlink. She went from being a reluctant participant initially not wanting to join the Chemo Room, to feeling like universal truths and generosity and vulnerability were on magnificent display in one of the ultimate cafés of life. "When the women asked me where I was from, and I said, New Zealand, they all wondered what on earth I was doing in California. I responded that I'd heard about this famous breast cancer doctor, so I thought I'd get breast cancer and check him out ., and our humorous and candid conversations kind of went from there"

Debbie continues to find the comparison between being a breast cancer patient and a woman with Multiple Sclerosis fairly soul destroying. The awareness and information and general proactivity around MS is absolutely minimal. It is not a condition that society is particularly interested in.

"I've tried lots of stuff: supplements, herbal and pharmaceutical in my quest for cure. None of them work. For whatever reason I've got a genetic predisposition to MS and breast cancer. Finally now, I'm no longer afraid. I've learnt that you can be terminally ill, and still have energy and be moving your life forward. I believe a lot of people find "God" when things go bad, but with me I found "Debbie" buried beneath it all and at last I feel comfortable in my own "house". That is what we all are looking for and not many of us ever get there until things go to custard. I am really lucky."

Check out Debbie's cooking school at www.cullinario.co.nz and her café and deli at www.platterplace.co.nz

Ethel

Ethel "Billie" Kilbourn is 87 years old and a five year survivor of breast cancer. Called back in 1999 for additional imaging after a suspicious mammogram, she still vividly recalls the ultrasound technologist casually announcing "you have breast cancer."

Her entire life, Billie had been concerned and frightened that she might develop breast cancer. Feeling that her best defense against this disease was appropriate surveillance, she had been faithful in pursuing her annual mammograms. So when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 80's, she was grateful for her vigilance and for the fact that it was diagnosed early.

By the time she actually developed breast cancer she had the perspective of one who has experienced great joys and sorrows with unique grace. She had experienced the Great Depression, several wars, the raising of two children, the early loss of a sister and a daughter in law. Her mammograms had become, by that time, a necessary inconvenience.

Diagnosed with Stage I infiltrating ductal carcinoma, she went on to have a lumpectomy, axillary node dissection and radiation therapy. Her surgeon and medical oncologist cared for her as a person with warmth and concern for her well being and the well being of her family as she moved through treatment. She did not feel unduly alarmed - she felt then and remains confident that she has received the best of care. Her most significant concern was whether or not her breast cancer diagnosis and treatment would interfere with caring for her ailing husband. She was determined that it would not.

Billie had surgery and radiation therapy, followed by Tamoxifen. A strong believer in complementary care, she drank soy milk to help with her hot flashes. When her bone density, which had been well maintained on hormone replacement therapy, began to decline off of HRT - she took Fosamax. Billie is very clear that she wants to be fully informed about her health and necessary treatment options. She wants as little interference with her body's natural process as possible. She has been an educated consumer of health care services receiving the best advice available, gathering information, and making the decisions that make sense to her.

Although her beloved husband died of a stroke over three years ago, she feels blessed to have experienced a great love and a wonderful family life together with their daughter and son. She describes many occurrences in life as more challenging than her breast cancer - recovery from a fractured hip, the loss of her sister, the longing for lost loved ones and friends.

Billie is active and full of the joy and laughter of life - with the desire to share her love and concern for others. For her, breast cancer was the smallest thing on her plate and at the same time a potent reminder to remember life's blessings and continually cultivate a sense of perspective. She feels that one of the most important guideposts in all of life, including dealing with breast cancer, is to confront your losses, make peace with them, and then to live life fully with an appreciation formed by the understanding of loss and the inevitability of change.

Posted: February 2005

Frances

A woman with her career as her top priority is diagnosed with breastcancer in May of 2001 age 28.

Frances was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 at age 28. Married over just two and a half years to David, she was at the beginning of a demanding career and looking forward to starting a family. Her top priority was managing her career demands. Breast cancer was an inconvenience that she could not afford.

With the start of active treatment, which included chemotherapy, radiation therapy and surgery, Frances' priorities quickly changed. She learned how to relate to herself as a precious commodity - to set healthier boundaries and to say "No" when necessary. She experienced the blessings of a profoundly supportive spouse, family and friends. And she also learned that even the most well-meaning friends and family view breast cancer from a naïve perspective. She learned that each patient becomes both her own advocate as well as an educator about this illness to her family, friends and employer. She recognized that in choosing a care team, she was entering into a lifelong relationship - a relationship that must be characterized by a commitment to excellence, openness, honesty and compassion.

Recovery also includes an ongoing re-prioritization of needs. At diagnosis, her initial response was reactive - that this was an incredible inconvenience and detour from her planned path. Her priorities before cancer were: 1) career, 2) husband 3) extended family/friends. After cancer they became: 1) husband/family 2) health/self. Although her career continues to be a priority, it is no longer the defining priority in her life. She worries about her job security within her work place. She suffered a loss of job status during treatment that has not yet been fully recovered. She has had to educate her employer about the nature of breast cancer and about what may be appropriately expected of her.

Personally, she has been blessed in her relationship with her husband, David. "I could not ask for a better life partner - he has truly been there for me." Though this crisis occurred early in their marriage, David rose to every challenge in order to support Frances. She worries about his well being and the fears that he does not share with her.

The breast cancer diagnosis and treatment have forced Frances to delay considerations related to having children. Irregular cycles post treatment have made this more of a concern. But Frances is profoundly aware that if cancer teaches anything it teaches that you cannot predict today where you will be in two years, or five years or ten; that life is, to a certain extent, unpredictable.

Surprisingly, friends and family - anxious to help - have frequently voiced their beliefs about what may have contributed to the development of Frances' breast cancer. Some lay the blame on her career and the stress associated with it - many have suggestions about diet, nutrition and stress management. But Frances truly understands that she must come to her own conclusions about both the disease and what she can do to help prevent its recurrence. She is at peace with the knowledge that she really cannot know what caused her breast cancer - but that she can do a lot to enhance both the quantity and quality of her life.

A lifelong musician, singing, playing piano and organ, Frances has reawakened to the joy of gospel music in her life. She has awakened to the pleasures of small and large things - appreciating each moment, believing that everything happens for a reason, and that we each must define that reason for ourselves.

If she was to share the lessons she has learned to this point in her breast cancer journey, she would say: "Live without regrets, self-recrimination or self-doubt." Remember that you have time for a second or even third opinion. Know that it matters that you choose your caregivers wisely because you are entering into a life-long and hopefully life-enhancing and life-preserving partnership with them.

Like all survivors, Frances has her moments when a nagging ache reawakens the fear of a recurrence. However, she rests her mind and heart in a place of peace, knowing that she has "gone the distance" and that she has pursued the best of care. She has learned to live without regret - to acquit herself of the "what if's" and "why's" of this experience. She hopes that every newly diagnosed patient remembers: You have time, you have choices, you must ask all of your questions and you must build a life partnership with your caregivers.

Kaycee Hale

An African American woman diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 age "fifty-something."

Kaycee is a "fifty-something" African American woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2002. At that time, she had been a lifelong self-described "workaholic" with a friendship network that extends literally around the world. More than two years out from her diagnosis, she describes herself as basically healthy - in fact, she states that she is physically and psychologically healthier than she was "pre-BC". Yes, she has fatigue, insomnia and some joint pain, but she also has improved her diet and nutrition, implemented a physical activity routine, developed a more focused spirituality, and learned to incorporate relaxation in her life.

Breast cancer challenged many of Kaycee's relationships. Friends whom she considered pillars in her support network disappointed her - leaving a profound void. But, as Kaycee puts it, "Mother nature abhors a void and the losses of those relationships were instantly replaced with Survivor Sisters." Kaycee is exuberant about these new relationships, which have redefined for her the true meaning of friendship. Kaycee was inspired on her journey with breast cancer by two dear friends who died from breast cancer while she was engaged in her fight. Their spirits continue to boost Kaycee's recovery through their unconditional love of life and the inspiration of their strength.

New "Survivor Sisters" have created a positive extended network for Kaycee of sisters, mothers and friends, completely unknown to Kaycee, who sent cards, letters, called, emailed and prayed their support to Kaycee. Women Kaycee had never met put their lives on hold to travel across state lines to be with her. They walked in marathons, purchased ribbons, teddy bears and candles in Kaycee's name and out of respect for her fight. They established prayer circles that literally spanned the globe - in churches, temples, synagogues and yoga classes to lift up her body, mind and spirit. One breast cancer survivor, Cathy M., fasted every week on the day of Kaycee's chemotherapy treatment and on every Thursday of her eight weeks of radiation therapy.

She met fellow travelers on the journey, three very special women who went through treatment at the same time as Kaycee. The self-proclaimed "chemo chicks" continue to meet every three to four months and to be a support to each other in the life beyond treatment.

Kaycee feels that she has gained more than she could ever have imagined in these newfound friendships. Without doing a thing to earn their care and concern, Kaycee found that strangers became friends with whom she has shared her most intimate fears, tears, trials and heartaches. She cried for a solid year.every day for twelve months of treatment - every heartache that she had ever suffered in life surfaced anew. She cried for what was happening to her and for how helpless she felt. She cried to grieve. She cried to release tension and cried for help. She never cried in anger. And her tears brought her peace. In hindsight she believes that there were tears of joy from just living through the experience mixed among the tears of struggle and sorrow.

Kaycee did not cry from concern about her treatment. She is confident in the treatment that she received with Dr Link. He provided a second opinion for Kaycee and, in the process, became her treating physician and, as she describes him, her HERO. The staff was "overwhelmingly the most intimately caring, genuinely professional, medically competent, and supportive group of people one could imagine in the medical community. Each member of the Breastlink staff added quality support during my treatment. That support began when I opened the door every Thursday morning at 9:15am and the receptionist greeted me...by name. Concern and care for me were exhibited by each staff member. The extraordinary array of services went far beyond just merely providing my chemotherapy treatments.

Most meaningful was that provided by Lisa D., a psychotherapist of the highest caliber, a consummate professional possessing inordinate expertise and intellect, and an optimist with praiseworthy personal values and professional skills. The Breastlink staff personify that their work is more than just a job. They believe and hence exhibit that their work is truly a commitment to LIFE."

Ultimately, Kaycee feels at peace with herself. Breast cancer is a path that no one chooses, but she would, without hesitation, go through it all again to gain the life that she has today. She feels her breast cancer experience has added value to her life, in terms of self-actualization, strength, courage, determination, and lifestyle changes. This disease gave her the opportunity to experience real support, real compassion and real love.

Of all that she learned in treatment, Kaycee has found these abiding truths:

When faced with fears, tears, anxiety depression, unadulterated illness, debilitating fatigue, separation anxiety from one's former self, and a life threatening illness one has two choices - you can face it all head on or you can go into denial about the future or the lack thereof. You must not become a "patient" or a "victim"; you must choose to partner with your team of medical professionals.

And you must make a conscious choice to be a spirited partner.

A sense of humor is paramount.

Getting in touch with spirituality is vital - whether it be formal religion, meditation or metaphysical beliefs - it is a comforting and soft place to fall and rest.

Remember that you are more than your income or home or external signs of value. Making peace requires establishing a new emotional currency of self-valuing based upon health, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, core value practices and self-realization.

A support network is critical, as is a willingness to implement holistic practices such as acupressure, massage, reiki, yoga, aromatherapy and self-hypnosis.

Positive thinking is indispensable. It is a fundamental principle in helping to rebuild one's life.

Create a healing, sensory soothing environment. Having a haven at home is essential - it is about having surroundings that heal, that appeal to every sense - visual, auditory, scent, tactile and taste. It's about wellness.

Learn to relax.

Finally, make an unwavering commitment to your health. John Paul Sartre once said, "At the moment of commitment, the universe will conspire to assist you." When a disease like breast cancer invades one's life, a commitment to WELLNESS must be in the forefront of every thought, action and deed.

Additional comment: Breast cancer is the most common cancer among African-American women. Breast cancer death rates for African-American women are substantially higher compared to white women. Additionally, the African-American woman's 5-year survival rate is 71% compared to 86% for white women. Hence, it is incumbent upon me and every other African-American Survivor to be as active as possible in the "Stop the Silence" program provided by the Sisters Network.

Posted: June 2004

Lisa

A stay at home Mom diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993 age 37.

Lisa H., was diagnosed with breast cancer 11 years ago at age 37. Her breast cancer was discovered when she noticed a lump under her arm through self examination. The diagnosis was confirmed through mammography and a needle biopsy. Petite and fundamentally healthy, Lisa is aggressively monitored and treated for osteoporosis. She continues to pursue annual mammograms and, when appropriate, ultrasound imaging. In hindsight, Lisa recognizes that she didn't ask a lot of questions, but feels certain that she asked the most important ones for her - including asking her consulting oncologist, "What would you do for your wife or daughter?" She feels certain that she received the best treatment and had the best doctors in the world available to her. Like all patients, she trusted them - their expertise and compassion - with her life.

Many of Lisa's friends and family members were overwhelmed by her diagnosis and found it difficult to be available to her for support. So she reached out to breast cancer support groups and developed new and lifelong friendships with people who were "comrades in the trenches". Lisa continues to feel the heartache and disillusionment of the losses she has suffered and, at the same time, incredible gratitude for the relationships that have emerged.

Lisa was and is blessed by her spouse, Dennis. At the time of diagnosis, she was also a deeply devoted, stay-at-home mom to her 11-year-old son who suffered from the dramatic changes in his life that resulted from Lisa's diagnosis and treatment. Faced with this family challenge, Dennis, stepped into parenting with a new intensity. He took over many of the parenting responsibilities which Lisa had previously undertaken, providing as much continuity as possible for their son. Despite this loving attention, her son expressed many fears, anger and concerns related to Lisa's cancer as he grew through adolescence. He was frightened that cancer might be contagious and worried for her survival. He struggled with school. As a family, they sought counseling as needed in order to assist in the working through of these fears. Eventually, he began to believe that Lisa would live - that life could move forward.

For Lisa, breast cancer caused her to view her son's growing up in milestones which she hoped to see achieved. With the first milestone, graduation from high school, behind them, Lisa is thrilled to define future milestones, such as seeing him as a happy and fulfilled adult, which she hopes and believes she will be here to witness.

Lisa's husband Dennis was "a rock" who tried to shield her from stress. His constant message to Lisa was :"I'm in this for the long haul." He took the challenges as they came, with no complaints. She worries that he went through so much alone.

Through the challenges of breast cancer, as well as many other life challenges, Lisa states that she has learned the value of giving and receiving. She has supported her father through his illness with prostate cancer and values her ability to support her mother through the difficulties of aging. She understands deeply the value of supportive relationships and the learning that invariably occurs when you choose to care.

Lisa says that what she has learned from breast cancer has made her life better - she no longer gets angry in traffic, she doesn't worry about the small stuff, and she sees the big picture. Knowing that roughly one in nine women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, Lisa never thought "Why me?" but rather thought "Why not me? Why...anyone?" And although we cannot yet know the WHY of breast cancer, Lisa can state definitively that "When you get through with breast cancer, your life will be better than ever."

Posted: June 2004